The “Trad Wife” Trend

 In recent years, there has been a growing trend of young women choosing to adopt traditional lifestyles as homemakers, while men go out to work and provide for their families. This trend has caused a lot of debate and controversy, with some people arguing that it is regressive and limiting to women's potential, while others argue that it provides a sense of fulfillment and happiness. In this essay, I will explore the reasons why traditional lifestyles are becoming increasingly popular among young women.

Firstly, the rise of feminism has created pressure on women to "do it all." Women are expected to excel in their careers while also being responsible for the majority of household tasks and raising children. This pressure can be overwhelming, and many women are finding it difficult to balance the demands of work and family. By adopting a traditional lifestyle, women can focus on their roles as homemakers and mothers, which provides a sense of clarity and purpose.

Secondly, many women are finding that the traditional lifestyle provides a sense of fulfillment that they are not getting from their careers. While careers can provide financial stability and social status, they do not always provide a sense of personal fulfillment. Raising children and managing a household can be challenging, but it is also rewarding and fulfilling in its own way.

Thirdly, many women are realizing that traditional lifestyles provide a sense of stability and security for their families. With the rise of divorce rates and the instability of the modern job market, many women are seeking a lifestyle that provides a sense of security and stability for their families. By staying home and raising children, they can provide a stable home environment that allows their children to thrive.

Fourthly, traditional lifestyles provide an opportunity for couples to divide household tasks in a way that suits their individual strengths and preferences. By adopting a traditional lifestyle, men can focus on their careers and provide financial stability, while women can focus on managing the household and raising children. This division of labor allows both partners to play to their strengths, which can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Finally, many women are realizing that traditional lifestyles provide an opportunity for them to live their lives on their own terms. While the pressure to excel in their careers and be superwomen can be overwhelming, many women are realizing that they can choose a lifestyle that provides them with the most happiness and fulfillment, even if it goes against societal expectations.

In conclusion, traditional lifestyles are becoming increasingly popular among young women due to a variety of reasons. These lifestyles provide a sense of clarity and purpose, fulfillment, stability and security, a more harmonious relationship, and an opportunity to live their lives on their own terms. While this lifestyle may not be suitable for everyone, it is worth considering as an alternative to the traditional expectations placed on women in modern society.

Who Am I Anyway?

 I am a wonder person. I am a woman. I have a big heart that I tend to wear on my sleeve. I care a lot. I strive to bring happiness to those I love.  I would do anything possible to make my loved ones happy. I give and I give until I have nothing left. I am supportive and honest. I am an empath. I feel things deeper than most. I have been through hell and back again. I am a survivor. I am an amazing cook. I am curious. I love my family. I am a daughter, a sister, a grandchild, a mother, an aunt, a lover, a wife. I love learning. I love adventure. I love to try new things. I love tattoos. I love listening to people's stories. I love new music, old music, garage music, porch music, all music. I love vans, converse, dressing up, dressing down, workout clothes, skater/beach clothing. I enjoy the beach, museums, bonfires, mountains, camping, farms and being outside. I love to move, dance, workout do yoga or run when I'm stressed. I enjoy meeting new people and agreeing to disagree. I do not enjoy arguing and fighting but I love a debate and paying devil's advocate. I believe in well-rounded views and hearing from all sides.  I love old cars, off road trucks, tractors, jeeps and more. I love to sit, watch movies, cuddle with books on rainy days. I love healthy food and fat kid food. I can be one of gals or one of the guys. I enjoy hanging out with the little one or with grandparents. I am a patriot. I love my country. I love my freedoms. I love guns, blowing things up, or the silence of archery and knives. I am a book nerd, superhero fan. I love to help others succeed. I am a homesteader, and a homeschool teacher. I enjoy growing my food, preserving it and sharing how I did just so. I am a lover who enjoys giving from the simplest massages to the depths of fantasies. I believe in my God as well as something infinitely more. I believe in fate and choice at the same time. I believe in a living hell/karma, and something more after this life ends. I do not know if it's a new life as something or someone else, heaven or a future paradise. I believe in living and let live. I believe in letting children be children. I believe life is short and fragile. It is well spent with good times rather than wasted away growing old alone. Life should be full of love, laughter, and cuddles. I do believe I'd rather be alone than taken for granted, yelled at, judged or told how to live. In relationships, small things mean far more than large elaborate displays. Small notes, calls, messages, random cups of coffee, help cleaning up. Family means people, blood or not, that would do anything for you and be there for you and vice versa. I believe the core of a relationship is friendship. One day, your looks will fade, your muscles will not be what htey once were, illnesses will come and go. You will rely on that friendship and trust that you can lean on your SO no matter what difficult moments life can throw at you.

From Far Away

 Today, I sit beside myself. I see the younger me, and I see me from one week ago. The two are vastly different. They are both different from the me I am today.

Younger me, 19 with a baby and a deployed husband, living in Southern California. I was staying with my FIL and Bonus MIL. I knew little to nothing of the world and just started to learn. I was scared, alone, lost and just trying to survive this new world I had stepped into. California was so big to me and everything I had dreamed of. Being a new mother when I had not even wanted children in the first place. Being a military spouse and learning how it all worked. I was young, dumb, and trying to figure out life. I was scare to drive on the big highways, I marveled at the sunshine and ocean. I was navigating breastfeeding, first foods for a baby and more. I was terrified of the phone calls from overseas that were hastily cut short due to firefights. 

The woman who sits beside me at 33 years old is vastly different. She's been divorced, going through a tumultuous moment in her soon to be done marriage. Living in Florida and balancing businesses as she tries to figure out whether staying here is the best move or going elsewhere with little ones in tow. She is in her married home, sleeping in her own room. She isn't as scared as she once was, but still scared. She is married to the military once more. She has 5 wonderful children now. She's seen the ins and outs of the military and wears her own scars from the life that comes with it. She still loves the sunshine, the ocean and freedom. She has weathered many storms throughout her life.

Today, I am the woman still learning lessons at 33. The things I've talked about doing, but hadn't done. Those are the things haunting me right now. Life is such a fragile and short thing. 

19 year old me was blessed to have met my Bonus MIL from my first husband. Of course my FIL as well but let's focus on her today. She was an incredible, caring person. She had never had children of her own and her husband had passed years before she and my FIL had met. (They never officially married, but were together for 20+ years.) She lovingly opened up her home to myself and my little sweet baby (my oldest, and not little guy anymore). She took me in and loved us and cared for us fiercely. She taught me to slow down and relax, drink that wine. She showed me how to properly care for your home. She loved to listen to the eagles with all of the windows open. She was amazing. Always with a smile and laughter, and would drink coffee and show me the best breakfast burritos on the planet. She taught me self care was important, and to leave the house put together. When she loved you, you knew it and never had to doubt it.

33 year old me from two weeks ago hadn't spoken to her in two years. She'd started to become more and more forgetful until it was realized that she had dementia. That woman that would joke every so often on the phone of being scared her memory was slipping, was ultimately right. It should've been more of a concern. She would laugh it off assure me she was fine. It happened so slowly that you almost didn't notice. Once it was getting bad and she hardly understood what I was saying, I chickened out of calling her. Ironically, I had just had conversations about needing to give her a call.

The me today, realizes she should have called. I waited too long and I let her slip through my fingers. I found out she was in the hospital two days ago. Yesterday I found out, the Lord took her home at 4:55 PM. My whole world feels turned upside down. I should have called. 

What would I have said? I'm not entirely sure.

If I could go back to her lucid moments and tell her once more that she was a pillar in my life and shaped the woman I am, I would.

I did write her a letter and sent it to my FIL for him to read to her. I heard once that your hearing is the last sense to leave your body and doing this brought me some comfort.

This is what I wrote:

Dear ******,

I am sorry. Sorry I didn't reach out more. I got so stuck in my own problems that I didn't want to burden anyone else. After always being honest with you about my whole world, I didn't want you to worry about me. I love you. You were my mother when I couldn't reach out to my own. You showed me California. Islands with ******. Stater Bros with baby ******. Pools, naps, Eagles, Kendall Jackson Chardonnay Vintner's Reserve. Take care of yourself, deep cleaning on Sundays, Vegas at 21, dealing with ****. I regret not reaching out more. I so wish we could go back in time. I'd spend every minute with you. I wish so badly I could have just one more weekend to hear your advice. To tell you how much you are a part of the woman I am. To listen to you talk of growing up with your sister ******. Stories of your father. Talking about visiting your family in P-Town. ***** joking with you over Freaky Deaky Fridays. (I can still clearly here you saying, "Oh gosh, Oh brother, go away!" Breakfast burritos. The park down the road, the white pizzas from the place at the bottom of the hill. 
You helped me navigate my own feelings, my own world, being a new mother. Lifting me up with your faith when I had none myself.
Everyone who knew you absolutely adored you. You were the most vibrant, loving, fun person in the room. An unmistakable laugh, and always read with understanding. Offering advice when needed. Your friends will all miss you. No one in the world will be the same without you.




It's time I close this post out as my crying has been so much the last few days and I just needed to get this out.

If you take anything from this post, it's to tell the people you love, care for, and who've made an impact in your life that they are important and loved.

Life is much too fragile and short to not.

3 Things That Drive Me Crazy

 Top 3 Pet Peeves

Ok, everyone has something that just drives them nuts. It can be in regard to people, relationships, businesses, etc.

People pet peeves:

1) Not listening to others.
2) Resorting to insults instead of an actual discussion.
3) Not accepting that others can have different opinions, and that is OK.

Relationship pet Peeves:

1) Telling someone what they can and cannot do.
2) Lack of trust.
3) Talking down to someone.

Businesses:

1) Over packaging.
2) Lack of customer service.
3) Will not do customer service online.

1 Thing That Someone Told Me

 There is one thing that someone once told me about myself that has stuck with me forever.

Before we dive into that, is there something someone else has told you about yourself that has stuck with you? It's rather amazing how words can stick with us or alter how we view things. Our perception of reality. They can be good, or they can be bad. Sadly, more often than not, it's the bad that really stick out in our memories. If we learn to change or work on those things, they stick out more. We will still carry it. However, if we alter our thoughts on it, we can make it not a part of our reality. Instead of viewing talking too much as a bad thing, view it as you are a great communicator, or a people person.

Alright, now to go into it. I've had my fair share of toxic, unhealthy relationships to say the least. Well, one thing that I've always had in the back of my mind is that I was too much. I still do not understand what too much meant. It is one of the worst things to be told because you have no idea what about you is too much for someone. Too much caring? Too much talking? Too many emotions? Too much love? Too much personality? 

I struggle with a lot of insecurities in my life, and this would be one of my biggest that I'm constantly trying to overcome.

Top 10 Things That Make Me Happy

 Let's try something new. New and simple. 

10 Things That Make Me Truly Happy

1) Watching my children grow into amazing humans.

2) My friends and family that make feel cared for, seen, and maybe not always understood, but always valued for being myself.

3) Freedom to be myself.

4) My health and body for letting me live my life everyday as long as I promise to always stay on the path to caring for it. 

5) Love. In all of its many ways that it finds itself in my life. My friends, my family, new relationship bonds. I love to love and be loved.

6) Giving to others. Whether it be my time, my recipes, my knowledge, my joy from their joy, money, goods, art. All of it. I would give it all away to see the happiness in others.

7) Sunshine, wind, rain, sunrises, sunsets. Everything that nature has to offer and show us.

8) Gardening. Watching something grow as it is nurtured.

9) Self-care

, self love, self improvement. Becoming one with yourself, your spirit, your purpose, and the universe.

10) Creating things. Recipes, art, writings, plans for businesses, goals with others.

It's really quiet grand, this life.

 Into the heart of things!

I've been working on a lot of many different projects as of late. I've got so many things changing and whirling around that sometimes I'm not even sure I can keep up with myself. My assistant stuff, landscaping, handyman services, accounting, brand ambassador, etsy for paintings/gardening/fudges, photos on different apps, website designing, digital books I'm authoring... phew.. I know there are many more things I'm missing. The beautiful part is that it is all my own. Every ounce of that chaos, is me. It's all me. 

I've really been striving to just be my own individual. Daring to step into the world as me. Not working on someone else's schedule, building their dreams. 

New things around the homestead: Cowcow, 3 ducks, our 12 hens. In two days I will be picking up 15 guinea chicks, 15 rainbow hens, and 3 rare heritage turkeys! I need to set up the brooders today, and start building a smaller pig pen for the 2 piglets I will be getting in a couple of months as well. 

Around the gardens: started our seedlings and have sprouts everywhere. Today, we will be planting "3-sisters".  That is something that my family taught me as I was younger and something I hope to pass on. Planting corn, beans that will grow up the stalks, and squashes that will grow around the base. Utilizing all the space available while producing the base of stews. A well loved dish in our home. Nutritious and straight from the garden! My goal is to teach my children what little bits of Native knowledge I have and maybe we can learn some things I do not know or remember myself. Who knows how far I will get.

Alright, time to finish up this coffee, get the kiddos fed, animals fed, gardens watered and a workout in!

Have a grand day everyone!

P.S. Key Lime Pie Fudge listing on etsy is live! I'll share the recipe soon.